Coors Light: Light in Everything, Including Flavor

The last time that the Coors Brewing Company made good beer was in 1873, when Adolph Coors started brewing beer in the small town of Golden, Colorado. It has gone downhill since then. Of course, as a business model, Coors has done brilliantly, selling 5 billion dollars’ worth of beer to schmucks with no taste or refinement. The Coors company also survived Prohibition, so it is actually an interesting story. Coors invented the all-aluminum beer can, the push-top opening system, and the sterile filtration process. It is too bad that the beer is not nearly as interesting as the company. Coors Light was introduced to consumers in 1978 with the light beer craze, in the silver bullet can, and, contrary to all logic, the product became wildly popular. Today, the Coors name is ubiquitous with drunken, overly-touchy-feely uncles, trailer park barbecues, and incest. Coors Light (4.2% ABV), as an American lager, is cold-filtered, and the company milks that image for all it’s worth, as if cold-brewing were not the case with every lager that exists.

Bottle: The bottle is obnoxious. The shape and size is that of standard American lager, which is fine. But the glass is only light brown, allowing sunlight to enter and ruin the beer. The silver label has a blue mountain logo and red and white lettering.

Pour: The color is a lovely urine-yellow with great clarity. The head is as white as bleach, about an elf’s finger thick, and dissipates quickly with no lacing.

Aroma: The aroma is that of armpit body odor, sweet but rotten corn, and ethylene. There is nothing more to it.

Flavor: Like a fine corn soda, the flavor is that of very low-quality grains, cheap corn fillers, and, once again, body odor.

Mouthfeel: Drink a glass of water mixed with vinegar, and you will get an idea of the mouthfeel.

Structure: Like water, on a good day.

Food Pairing: Coors Light would be a fine pairing with a Big Mac.

Overall Rating Out of 5 Possible Beer Mugs:


Tags: American Lager Coors Coors Brewing Company Coors Light Food Ergo Love Lager Matt Miller Pilsner Review

  • Chris Headrick

    Ouch! But I fully agree! :)

    • Matt Miller

      Haha this is a bit tongue in cheek, but I do hate the beer.

  • Chris Headrick

    I would add with this review, that Coors pushing their “cold” philosophy is a bit misleading. Some beers are better chillingly cold, but that’s generally only because if you drink them at the proper temperature, they taste terrible! Extreme cold in a beer only masks the true flavor. When chilled to it’s proper temperature, which is several degress above freezing, the true flavor shows. If I want water, I’ll drink water.

  • Matthew Miller

    Chris, haha, that is true. There seems to be an obsession among low-tier American beers to serve them at absolute zero.